:( my baby died :( my little benjoi died :'( God, thinking about it makes me want to roll on the floor and sob my ass off. He, My little small fluff of joy. Did His best to last as long as He could. Even if He was left behind. And on the 17th of April, He came into my life. The fact that my life is already hectic enough. I still find myself lying on the floor with His tiny paws all around me. When I'd go "OMG" when He'd trip when He'd try to walk. When I'd go "HAIYO" when He refuses to go to sleep. When I'd go "-.-" when I had to get up at 3 in the morning to feed that hungry monster of fluff. When He'd first opened His eyes, We were already jumping for joy. How Venus was already getting used to Him getting all the attention. Slowly, He stopped eating as much as He did. Slowly, He'd stopped meowing as much as He did. All He did was sleep. And I thought "Maybe it's cause he's a baby" Doctors would shake their head and gave Him two days to live when we'd first took Him to the vet. It was difficult to get where we were. The doctors were shock to find out that He lived for almost 2 weeks. Even without His mother around. On the 26th of April, The day was going by slowly. And my heart was feeling gloomy. When I'd come home to see my ball of fluff sleeping soundly. There was not a single thing out of place. I'd questioned my brother about Him. And he'd tell me "He wasn't eating." He hasn't been eating. When I'd carry him in palms, He'd always put his head in between my fingers. But this time, All He did was lay on my palms. Barely breathing. I felt everything tumbling down. I felt my hopes crashing down. I did what I could. "Keep him warm" the doctor told me. I'd check on Him constantly. I'd stare till I see a part of Him moving. Until this one last time. I'd unwrap the towels, I saw Him gasping. I didn't know what to do. I thought He was fine. I carried him in my palms. I tried feeding him milk. Cause I thought He was fine. When I'd pour the milk in. It just slid right down his throat. I did it a few times. Then I'd check his stomach. "It's not moving." I'd move his head. "He's not moving" I'd pull on his legs lightly. Trying to wake Him up. "He's gone." I felt my eyes swelling up. And all I could do was call my brother. I'd whisper softly "He's gone". On the 26th of April, 4.16PM. My baby moved on. Moved on to a better place where I hope to see Him again. He may have spent only a few weeks with me. But it was the time that We've all had with Him that counts. The thoughts and worries. And everything in between. "Benjie" 's gonna be in my memories. Till I grow old and gray. I miss you, Benjoi :'( so much. Rest In Peace, Baby Benjie. I love you :) x this neverending story. |
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